And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Boobs speak an international language.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
