Don't make out with my wife yet
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
