using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
