I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
