Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
