You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
