theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
