i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
