Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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