I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
