found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
