Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
