i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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