the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
