bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
