Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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