i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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