I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
