ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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