goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
