All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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