wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
