remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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