So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
