I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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