Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
