Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
