I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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