He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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