take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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