I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
