I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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