I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
