Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
