Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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