good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
