let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
