First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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