The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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