Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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