Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize