Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There r osticjed everywhere
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
