U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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