I cut my penus on the lid.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
