Three words: puerto rican gang bang
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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