walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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