did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
