Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Send help, water and tortillas.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
