Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
