My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
