everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
