You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize